The Woes of Green Bean Soup

Do you have any idea what it is like to wake up from Level 3, deep sleep, Rapid Eye Movement kinda sleep to instant awareness?

I was happily snuggled up in bed, still in dreamland.. where I was surrounded by ten hunky naked men all primed and ready to.... (yeah rite. whatever.) when the acrid smell of smoke started creeping up my nostrils and into my dream. (I could have sworn the ten guys stopped whatever they were doing and started sniffing the air too...)

So my little nose started twitching above the edge of my blankie and my mind went, "Smoke.. burning.. fire....fire? FIRE!"

My eyes flew open, and I was leaping out of bed, flinging off my covers. I was standing ON my bed and my initial thought was that my aircon was burning. I slammed the "off" button while taking a quick whiff.

No leh. Not my aircon..

Dun tell me its coming from downstairs?

I flung open my room door and it was like Indonesia had started buring their forests in my humble 8th floor HDB Maisonette.

I swung into action. Adrenalin was pumping through my veins. I was all ready to conduct my Safety and Emergency Procedures. I flew down my stairs. My mind was racing. Could it be someone didn't turn the iron off? Was it an appliance that just blew up? I was ready to fight the fire and evacuate my whole block. I was ready to fling open my front door and shout, "Come this way! Jump!"

I raced through my living room and came across my Dad calmly sitting at his favourite spot in the balcony, listening to the radio and doing his own thing...

"What happened Dad???!" I screeched to a halt, arms flailing about in the direction of the smokey kitchen.

"AIyyyahhh... I wanted to boil green bean soup for you but I forgot all about it until it burned up."

My Dad looked so sheepish. He didn't even dare to look at me.

I glanced at the stove but the damning evidence had already been cleared up. Apparently the smoke was harder to cover up.

I went into the whole triade of "How could's" and "What if's".

Okay, I know it was really sweet of him to try to cook something "cooling" for me when im sick.. but Jee-zus Christ!

My dad can't cook. He has a history of burning whatever he tries cooking.

I love you Dad. But please... don't cook anything.