The Broccoli Wars...

Just back from Auckland (I call it AcCCkland... Im sorry.. But I really do love New Zealand).

Its just that I've been there five times since June.. and its not exactly the most interesting of places.. but Its practically become like a second home to me.

Okay, ANYWAY... I went to have dinner with a colleague the other night.. both of us went to this Hong Kong food joint which she recommended. She raved to me about the good food and recommended the Sweet Sour Chicken and Stir-Fried Broccoli.

Of course I had no problem.. Afterall, I've been labelled "Easy". Dammit.

So she proceeded to order from, lets call her Waitress A, the only broccoli dish in the menu, which was, "Stir-Fried Chinese Broccoli". We eagerly awaited our dishes and were gushing over how broccoli is our favourite veggie blahblahblah..

Soon, Waitress B came bearing our steaming food and proceeded to plonk a giant plate of Kai Lan on our table.

After blinking at it for a full 5 seconds, we told her.. "errr.. we ordered broccoli. Not this.." So after a flustered "sorry" she took it back.

I was facing the front of the restaurant, so I could see an exchange of words between Waitress A and Waitress B. Waitress A, if you recall, took our order, started walking VERY purposefully towards our table with that dratted plate of Kai Lan in one hand.

(Spoken with very fierce Hong Kong accent) "MiiissSS. You Ordered CHINESE Broccoli. THIS IS Chinese Broccoli. Its not MY fault. I can't change it for you."

Pwah.

Apparently what we wanted was Broccoli FLOWER.

You should have seen the change in my colleague. She was so mad.. she started arguing with Waitress B over the difference between Chinese Broccoli and the Broccoli Flower.

And there I was.. looking helplessly at the both of them and smiling weakly at the other patrons who were staring at the VERY heated debate going on at our table.

Finally, my colleague told Waitress A, "Whatever it is, take it back. Change it. This is not what we want."

So with a huff and a puff, Waitress A brought it back.. and I watched another exchange between Waitress A and Waitress C. (YES. ANOTHER waitress...)

So now Waitress C comes bearing down towards our table, STILL with that dratted plate of Kai Lan and plonks it in front of us.. again.

She started yapping in Cantonese and my colleague cut her off and told her, "We don't speak Cantonese."

So Waitress C told us... "You dun speak Cantonese, so you should know! You ask any Westerner here, they know that this is Chinese Broccoli!"

Wat the Fuck?

So I spoke up and said, "We are NOT Westerners. Anyway, its just a misunderstanding. It's nobody's fault..."

Waitress C, not so easily placated, pointed a quivering, accusing finger at my colleague and screeched, "She blaming us! She say is our fault!"

Fuck. I just want to eat dammit.

Smiling placatingly at Waitress C, I told her its NOBODY'S fault. I looked at my colleague and told her, "we'll just take the veggies.. and honestly.. they ARE somewhat kinda right..."

So we had the God dammed Kai Lan.

And Waitresses A, B and C were all feeling smug and victorious.

While we were gnawing on the humongous Kai Lan ala Chinese Broccoli stems, my colleague looked up and me and said, "Wah.. lucky your temper so good."

I'd say.